BREAKING: Pat Fitzgerald Set to Indict ACORN, Obama, Pelosi, Dean, Santa Claus on RICO Charges

by Thers [courtesy of Firedoglake]

(Left: This incredibly amateurish Photoshop of Barack Obama's head on the body of the bad guy from The Road Warrior is not at all intended as a comment on the absurd crudity of wingnut attempts to make Obama out like he's about to usher in a post-apocalyptic neo-fascism. Nuh-uh.)

Americans are increasingly alarmed at the prospect of a Barack Obama presidency, and with good reason. As the always very sensible Michael Barone reports, there can be little doubt that an Obama administration would be a "thugocracy" in which few if any conservative talk show hosts would be free to broadcast idiotic smears without receiving telephone calls from Americans who disagree with them. Even more chillingly, Obama threatens corporate America's cherished right to rig union elections. And Barone does not fail to remind us that in Missouri local prosecutors threatened to arrest anyone who criticizes Obama about anything, something that remains magically true even though the prosecutors he mentions never remotely said anything of the kind (you can watch them fiendishly not saying it here).

Fortunately the nation is set to awaken before the nightmare commences. As the always reliable and not at all crazy dead-ender HillBuzz, who supports John McCain and thus remains loyal to Hillary Clinton by doing the total opposite of what Hillary Clinton has said her supporters should do , reported on Thursday,

The buzz in those corridors is that federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has been leading a team of FBI investigators in 10 states working on a RICO case....

If everything rumored here is true, it looks like David Axelrod, Howard Dean, Donna Brazile, SoetorObama himself, and possibly even Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid were all involved, together, in massive RICO violations, and thus federal fraud, if the DNC and party leadership knew what the SoetorObama campaign and ACORN were up to and allowed it to proceed. Knowledge of federal crimes being committed makes all parties accessories to those crimes — and part of the conspiracy to defraud the public.

THAT would certainly be one Hell of a shock tomorrow morning.

Well, I was certainly shocked yesterday by the complete lack of this happening. But then again, Patrick Fitzgerald is notoriously crafty prosecutor. The savvy move on his part would be to prosecute imaginary crimes in a pretend jurisdiction. So do not be "shocked" when Judge Cornelius W. Kornflake of the Court of Fantasical Frippery sentences Senator Obama to 500 Unicorn Years in the Gumdrop Gaol.

In the meantime you can pore over this sort of intricate trivia, which is damning insofar as it is presented with hyperlinks. Or else you can just rest assured that Obama will eventually be arrested for the heinous crime of winning an election in Chicago. Or maybe you can head to the pawn shop and stock up on firearms, as all sensible Americans are doing in the face of a probable Obama victory, including even black Americans (read the comments), for reasons which may appear mysterious at first but become far more logical once you realize that black Americans have evidence from blogs like "Confederate Yankee" that swarms of halfwit cryptoracist paranoiacs are squawking off to the gun shops. What would you do? (Representative CY commenter: "I've owned guns most of my adult life and still fondly (not) remember the dark Clinton days. But even back then I didn't bother to do what I did last week. I finally applied for a concealed permit." For added fun skip a post and enjoy the commenter who is terrified that President Obama will wickedly fire every US attorney whose politics he doesn't like.)

Anyhow you slice it, an Obama victory portends a dystopian hellscape. Worst case scenario, progressives will be able to drag him into putting through, oh, a single payer healthcare system, which is exactly like a gulag except in every possible rational sense.